Joshua Black’s father died unexpectedly. There was no chance for the two men to have a final conversation.
He was dealing as best he could with the grief until about three months later, when something happened that changed him.
His father appeared in a dream, bringing him some comfort and closure.
“The dream was very comforting to me because he died very suddenly,” says Black, 32. “I never had a chance to say goodbye, so in the dream it was me saying goodbye, acknowledging the loss and saying I loved him. It was very quick and different than any other dream I had ever had.”
That dream eight years ago helped Black with his grief. Not long after that, he began providing one-on-one bereavement support, where the topic of grief dreams arose often. He found that he was unable to find answers to some of the questions people posed.
Considering all the studies that have been done throughout history on dreams and what they mean, it was rather odd there has not been significant research on grief dreams, says Black.
“We’ve been dreaming since the beginning of time and people have been dying since then, yet no one has really wanted to discuss this.”
He started exploring grief dreams at Trent University for his master’s degree and continues to research the topic at Brock University, where he is completing his PhD in psychology.
Black will be giving two lectures in April on dreams of the deceased.
Black said 77 per cent find the appearance of deceased loved ones help with their grieving process. But many people don’t tell friends or relatives that they are being visited in their dreams for fear of being judged.
“They don’t want people to tell them they aren’t grieving properly, that they aren’t over the loss,” he says. “They don’t want them changing the meaning of the dream.”
However, not everyone has friendly visits to their subconscious. Many people have nightmares.
Blacks gives the example of a widow who dreamed her late husband was attacking her and demanding she return the money he left her. It turned out to be a manifestation of guilt for enjoying her inheritance — money she believed her husband worked so hard for but could not enjoy.
Grief dreams are reported by people who are religious and those who are not.
Sometimes a dream after a loss is a spiritual comfort, to know the person has made it to heaven, says Black. Some believe it is truly a visit from the deceased’s spirit.
“I think a lot of people just want to know their loved one is safe so they long for that visitation in a dream,” says Black.
“Part of the grieving process is having another moment to see the deceased healthy. A lot of times when people are dying we see them in very dramatic circumstances. Especially with cancer — the jaundice, the hair falling out. That’s not a memory that we want.”
As a result, the mind produces a new image for a person to cling to.
“I think it is the brain problem solving whatever way it can.”
Joshua Black’s father died unexpectedly. There was no chance for the two men to have a final conversation.
He was dealing as best he could with the grief until about three months later, when something happened that changed him.
His father appeared in a dream, bringing him some comfort and closure.
“The dream was very comforting to me because he died very suddenly,” says Black, 32. “I never had a chance to say goodbye, so in the dream it was me saying goodbye, acknowledging the loss and saying I loved him. It was very quick and different than any other dream I had ever had.”
That dream eight years ago helped Black with his grief. Not long after that, he began providing one-on-one bereavement support, where the topic of grief dreams arose often. He found that he was unable to find answers to some of the questions people posed.
Considering all the studies that have been done throughout history on dreams and what they mean, it was rather odd there has not been significant research on grief dreams, says Black.
“We’ve been dreaming since the beginning of time and people have been dying since then, yet no one has really wanted to discuss this.”
He started exploring grief dreams at Trent University for his master’s degree and continues to research the topic at Brock University, where he is completing his PhD in psychology.
Black will be giving two lectures in April on dreams of the deceased.
Black said 77 per cent find the appearance of deceased loved ones help with their grieving process. But many people don’t tell friends or relatives that they are being visited in their dreams for fear of being judged.
“They don’t want people to tell them they aren’t grieving properly, that they aren’t over the loss,” he says. “They don’t want them changing the meaning of the dream.”
However, not everyone has friendly visits to their subconscious. Many people have nightmares.
Blacks gives the example of a widow who dreamed her late husband was attacking her and demanding she return the money he left her. It turned out to be a manifestation of guilt for enjoying her inheritance — money she believed her husband worked so hard for but could not enjoy.
Grief dreams are reported by people who are religious and those who are not.
Sometimes a dream after a loss is a spiritual comfort, to know the person has made it to heaven, says Black. Some believe it is truly a visit from the deceased’s spirit.
“I think a lot of people just want to know their loved one is safe so they long for that visitation in a dream,” says Black.
“Part of the grieving process is having another moment to see the deceased healthy. A lot of times when people are dying we see them in very dramatic circumstances. Especially with cancer — the jaundice, the hair falling out. That’s not a memory that we want.”
As a result, the mind produces a new image for a person to cling to.
“I think it is the brain problem solving whatever way it can.”
Joshua Black’s father died unexpectedly. There was no chance for the two men to have a final conversation.
He was dealing as best he could with the grief until about three months later, when something happened that changed him.
His father appeared in a dream, bringing him some comfort and closure.
“The dream was very comforting to me because he died very suddenly,” says Black, 32. “I never had a chance to say goodbye, so in the dream it was me saying goodbye, acknowledging the loss and saying I loved him. It was very quick and different than any other dream I had ever had.”
That dream eight years ago helped Black with his grief. Not long after that, he began providing one-on-one bereavement support, where the topic of grief dreams arose often. He found that he was unable to find answers to some of the questions people posed.
Considering all the studies that have been done throughout history on dreams and what they mean, it was rather odd there has not been significant research on grief dreams, says Black.
“We’ve been dreaming since the beginning of time and people have been dying since then, yet no one has really wanted to discuss this.”
He started exploring grief dreams at Trent University for his master’s degree and continues to research the topic at Brock University, where he is completing his PhD in psychology.
Black will be giving two lectures in April on dreams of the deceased.
Black said 77 per cent find the appearance of deceased loved ones help with their grieving process. But many people don’t tell friends or relatives that they are being visited in their dreams for fear of being judged.
“They don’t want people to tell them they aren’t grieving properly, that they aren’t over the loss,” he says. “They don’t want them changing the meaning of the dream.”
However, not everyone has friendly visits to their subconscious. Many people have nightmares.
Blacks gives the example of a widow who dreamed her late husband was attacking her and demanding she return the money he left her. It turned out to be a manifestation of guilt for enjoying her inheritance — money she believed her husband worked so hard for but could not enjoy.
Grief dreams are reported by people who are religious and those who are not.
Sometimes a dream after a loss is a spiritual comfort, to know the person has made it to heaven, says Black. Some believe it is truly a visit from the deceased’s spirit.
“I think a lot of people just want to know their loved one is safe so they long for that visitation in a dream,” says Black.
“Part of the grieving process is having another moment to see the deceased healthy. A lot of times when people are dying we see them in very dramatic circumstances. Especially with cancer — the jaundice, the hair falling out. That’s not a memory that we want.”
As a result, the mind produces a new image for a person to cling to.
“I think it is the brain problem solving whatever way it can.”